Ok Fergie, I got your MILF money. You did it. The former entertainment reporter me says “Heeeeeeeehhhhhhllllll yes get that attention and hit the music scene strong after baby!”
But the mom of two girls me says, “Awwww man. Just another tacky ploy using sex and motherhood to get attention and hit the music scene strong after baby.”
Being a mom is empowering. Being a mom is sexy. Being a mom means you can do it all. We get it. We appreciate it. We believe in it (especially me, considering I’m currently writing a book called The FAB Mom’s Guide: How to Get Over the Bump & Bounce Back Fast After Baby, get it Spring 2017).
But I’m feelin’ this new vid of yours is just too…. MUCH. Not all of it (not the cartoony-funny part with Chrissy Teigen doggin’ the milkman as she breastfeeds on a bench) but the pouring milk all over yourself and Kim Kardashian part (or what that just in the teaser?)… TOO MUCH MILK can upset your stomach, you know.
(I think I have a tummy ache…)
But everyone’s got to make money. I get it. And hot motherhood can be big money these days. (Says the woman who branded herself as “The FAB Mom” in the name of scoring lifestyle news segments using a clever hook.)
Now I’m just confused. Do I like #MILFMONEY or do I not? Am I a prude thinking this #MILFMONEY stuff is pushin’ it too far? Or am I secretly just jealous that I’m not in the video too?!? I like the cartoon-quality, I like the clever concept (double entendre with the M-I-L-F!), I don’t like the slutty stuff. (Ok, I can live with that.)
For kicks, here’s another MILF from a few years ago — my friend and author Sarah Maizes. She’s got your [original] #MILFMONEY. Maybe she can lend you some to buy some more milk, since it looks like you’ve run out at the end? Or maybe you could lend her one of your outfits from the video, in the name of staying sexy after motherhood?
CHECK OUT *GOT MILF* WHEREVER BOOKS ARE SOLD.
