Ok. I’m gonna turn things real here: I don’t really exercise these days. (The shame. The shame.)
Real efforts towards fitness maybe happens once a week tops (that’s IF I can pull off a Sunday afternoon quick trip to the gym while my husband stays at home with the girls). It’s true. (And, the fact that this is true honestly makes me angry… considering that I danced for the first 25 years of my life, once was able to run on a treadmill for almost an hour and, in my 20’s, had the luxury of happily logging in 4-5 days a week at the gym because I really did find it exhilarating.)
Now I just mostly load the dishwasher (bend!) and vacuum (push!) and lift and carry my 3 year old (Mommy pick me UP!)… I don’t know what’s more embarrassing: That the dishwasher provides my core workout or if I honestly did find 4-5 workouts per week happily exhilarating. You make the call.
So in the name of holding on to a shred of myself, I’ll share with you my most latest, shameful and frivolous methods to get my bod in shape for summer.
1) WEAR THE SNEAKERS. (This advice coming from a chick – me – who encourages that we all wear heels more often than we should… I know, the irony.) Even if I’ve got no plans to do legitimate exercise at any point during my day, I’ve started opting for sneakers more and more. Running shoes, even. Sneakers make me feel like I’m working out… even on the days I’m stuck in the kitchen next to that dishwasher. Sneakers make me move faster… which increases heart rate… which burns calories… which… well, you know. Sometimes I’ll even go so far to put on a whole workout outfit. You know what they say: If you dress the part… who cares if you look like a frump-a-dump sometimes. Your firm butt will thank you later.
My Skechers. Love ’em.
2) GET NAKED. Pre-shower. For pushups. For calf-raises. For stretching the hamstrings. Yes, these are still working for me. (Yes, my husband still makes fun of me.)
3) USE THE KIDS. Yes, I sometimes still pull this trick out of the hat during bedtime, right before story time (I dare you to watch). Your little people may be small (like mine), but man can they provide great resistance if you ask them nicely enough (and possibly bribe them with lollipops).
4) SNAP WORKOUT SELFIES. Just be vain and be done with it. (I’ve jumped the shark, I know.) But most ridiculously-fit folks I happen to know (or, follow) seem to snap all sorts of selfies while gettin’ their workout on. In the gym. Running on the beach. Doing sit-ups in their backyard. Wow… look at THEM. Maybe we’ve all missed the real tipping point of the fitness equation here: Fitness requires vanity. The more selfies… the more self-motivation? Hm. Just sneak around your children if you do it… the last thing we need our kids watching is mom snapping all sorts of selfies in a sports bra. Embarrassing.
Nope. Not me. I don’t do fitness selfies.
5) SEEK OUT SNEAKY WORKOUT SPOTS. I might get busted for this one, but whatever: Sky Zone indoor trampoline parks offer toddler-time on Tuesday & Thursday mornings. I sometimes take my kids. We all jump. They bounce and giggle and fall. I sweat like it’s goin’ outta style. (You get me here?) Best part is, my girls think I sought out the fun solely for them (hey, it’s for ALL of us). Because a fit mom is a happy mom is a fabulous mom. (Wait… right?)
