Oscars: Blinks, Blurs & Being Mom.

Change. Life. Oscars. “I blinked and then here I am!” she said. Right there onscreen. I hear you woman. I kinda feel the same way. My heart swelled when legendary actress Julie Andrews spoke those words onstage at the 2015 Academy Awards, talking about the 50th anniversary of The Sound of Music… right after Lady Gaga shocked the world into realizing she can really sing in an evening gown – and pull it all off – while honoring my girls’ current favorite movie (we seriously watch The Sound of Music a few times a week… and yes, my girls started shouting “Julie Andrews! It’s Julie Andrews mommy!” as the lady herself surprisingly walked out to center stage to greet Gaga).

Andrews’ presence struck me. Her words resonated:

“I BLINKED AND THEN HERE I AM.” Isn’t that true for ALL of us. The days are long, but the years are short. (Parents are so tired of hearing that one. Unfortunately it happens to be true.) Change happens, and then we’re surprised. Sitting on my couch in my pink robe watching my daughters watch the awards alongside a (fake) dude named Oscar that’s lived from my house since I nabbed him from a party I attended back when I was working was suddenly funny to me. How am I here?!? (I say that to myself a lot.)

I BLINKED AND THEN HERE I AM. Two kids. On my couch. The 4 year old asking me “Mommy why is her front so naked?” with an embarrassed giggle when Jennifer Lopez walked out to present an award. My 2 year old stealing our (fake) Oscar statuette and running away cackling because she thought she pulled a wise one over her sister. Me with an empty pot of mac-n-cheese (my new tradition for Oscar night) and loving it. Now you know.

No more coveted, full-time, 60+ hours a week TV day job to score me a spot on that most famous red carpet. 2009 was the last and final year I worked the Academy Awards. This many years already gone? Crazy. Now I feel like those years whizzed by too fast… even though I did my very best to ‘stop’ and absorb the moments as they happened. Smashed between those glamorous assignments were LONG, intense, sometimes-stressful and frustrating challenges involved with actually getting the job done. (Of course it was fun, but you know… it was still work.) I’d always take a moment to enjoy the bliss of it all, but I think I unintentionally let myself feel the work more. Are my questions good enough? Don’t giggle too much. Will my producer like this shot? Don’t forget to get something news-worthy to make headlines. In trying to ‘remember’ all the must-do’s, I now remember forgetting the ‘just have fun’ part. I was constantly worried I’d be fired. The wise-me would now tell the young-me to chillax and not worry about whether I was doing my job ‘good-enough.’ If they don’t like me, then screw ’em ten times over. (What I’d give now to go back with that attitude.)

Glamour. Red. Cameras. Lights. Smile. Ask. Answer. Stand up straight THINK. Speak. Repeat. For years… AND THEN I BLINKED.

Bam! Into another job. The job of MOM. Fast. (Sometimes this job takes me to the exact same places, standing in front of the same theater I worked the most famous red carpet in the world… minus the red carpet. At least someone has their hand on their hip in the second photo… gives me hope!) Funny how this mom-job thing also includes long, intense, sometimes-stressful and frustrating challenges. (I’ve written about how working as a TV personality is the ultimate prep for motherhood.) And shock of all shocks: Being a mom is also fun. These days, wise-me has learned from the young-me to stop and step back, chillax, recognize the fun… and to not worry about whether I’m doing this parenting thing ‘good-enough.’ Worry sucks the fun out of everything and that’s not fabulous for anybody. Worry also gets in the way of doing your job well, no?

I BLINKED AND THEN HERE I AM. Inevitable for all of us, parents or not. Years get sucked away whether we worry, don’t worry, have fun or don’t have fun. We blink and then we’re in a different spot. So we’d might as well make a conscious effort to have fun. Since we’re talking movies, there’s a quirky movie I love called About Time, that basically encourages the thought of (spoiler alert here!) living each day ‘twice’ — once with all the worry and frustration and once with nothing but joy, jokes and love. (In the movie, making the choice to live the second day proves to be much more fulfilling…) Making the choice to stay present in your own life isn’t just a stupid quote that all those nominees always talk about on the red carpet (“I’m trying to stay present and just enjoy this moment…” you know, that quote), it’s a real thing. It affects ourselves and our kids in ways that aren’t even tangible but will last for the rest of our lives.

The night before the Academy Awards, my husband and I had a date night and happened to drive right past where the red carpet crew was setting up. I could feel the mix of emotions that most every woman has while navigating her old-self and her mom-self welling up. “Slow down I want to take a picture!” I spat out at my husband as he drove by the spectacle. I busted out my phone and tried to click-click-click as fast as I could to get a clean shot of the setup. But all that came out was a blur.

I blinked and then we were past the scene… on to our destination. “Road Closed” the sign read. (Notice it?) How fitting. I smiled. Oh well. Because looking back is fun, but moving forward is better. Nothin’ like a blurry picture to remind you that living in the present is truly a gift. Would I go back to do it all over again? Yes. Would I want to go back should an opportunity comes my way? Hell yes… and that would be a great present for a future present. (You follow?) But for now (THIS present): Here’s to sitting on your couch with your kids, eating mac-n-cheese and answering questions about JLo’s cleavage. Now, in the words of JK Simmons’ 2015 Oscars acceptance speech: Go call your mom.