Celebrity Moms & Daughters: Who’s the star?

Celebrity moms. Such a fascinating breed, no? Almost more fascinating (to me) than celebrity kids.

Give a shout if Carrie Fisher’s comical SAG Awards tribute to present her mom Debbie Reynolds with the 2015 Screen Actors Guild’s Lifetime Achievement Award made you feel a little bit conflicted. Or if it made you question choices. Or if it made you thankful for not having to make such difficult choices that you sometimes wish you had to make. Or if it made you think of a radio interview you once heard that featured (unrelated) actress Jamie Lee Curtis talking parenting practices.

S-H-O-U-T. Shout. Let it all out.

Long before I was married or pregnant with LadyP, I remember listening to a radio interview while driving in my car (to my job at the time, I think) that featured actress Jamie Lee Curtis talking about her parenting practices. I remember this interview because it was fascinating: She was telling Rick Dees (remember Rick Dees, Los Angeles?!?) all about how she was taking a step away from the spotlight for a bit so that her kids could be the stars at their household. She told a tale about how her young daughter was rehearsing for a dance recital (or competition? I don’t remember…) and that their whole household was rallied around the daughter’s big dance routine to that song “Baby’s Black Balloon” by the Goo Goo Dolls. (I’m dating myself here, I know.) Jamie talked about how she was getting the costume together, how she was sick of hearing that song over and over…. but how it was so important to her that her kids be the STARS in her household [and not her]. What an incredible mother, I thought. (I swear I am not making this up.)

Again, I was nowhere near marriage or having babies of my own at the time, but Jamie Lee Curtis’ words have stuck with me all these years. I think about them often. (Blame the entertainment reporter in me.) I’ve thought about them when I’ve appeared on TV. I’ve thought about them when I’ve taken my girls to work with me on TV. I’ve thought about them when I emceed our preschool’s fundraiser and saw my little girl looking up at Mommy standing on the stage holding court in front of all her friends and their parents.

THE KIDS SHOULD BE THE STARS OF THE HOUSE. I believe, I believe, I believe! Amen.

Watching Carrie Fisher’s playfully sarcastic presentation of the 2015 SAG Lifetime Achievement Award to her mom Debbie Reynolds reminded me of that most impactful interview with Jamie Lee Curtis that I’d heard so many years ago. “Admittedly, I found it difficult to share my mother with her adoring fans…” Fisher said in front of hundreds of her peers and millions of television viewers (that’s a quote, WATCH THE VID HERE). It’s no secret that, with all her talent and smarts, Carrie Fisher has endured many challenges over the years. As a daughter, my heart broke for her a bit. I never had to share my mom… What does it feel like to have to share your mom? What does it feel like to grow up in the shadow of your mom’s fame? I’m thankful I’ll never know.

And as the camera flashed to Debbie Reynolds’ face (during Fisher’s presentation), my heart broke for her as a mother. Sure, she’s had a legendary life with her most incredible work and talents touching so many in the most wonderful ways – but at what price? Because, everything has a price.

THE KIDS SHOULD BE THE STARS OF THE HOUSE.

Very few mothers in this world deal with the level of ‘stardom’ and ‘sharing’ that Debbie Reynolds and Carrie Fisher did. I can’t imagine how complicated, fascinating and challenging it must have been. (Next time you think of how easy celebrity parents have it, think of this. Just sayin.’) Because every mom loves their kid, and every kid loves their mom. Every mother has issues to reconcile, every mother has conflict to navigate, every mother has choices to make. Reconcile them thoughtfully, navigate them cautiously and make them carefully. Because kids grow up.

THE KIDS SHOULD BE THE STARS OF THE HOUSE.

“A while ago, I did a movie… It was Singin’ in the Rain,” Debbie Reynolds told the audience after taking the SAG Awards stage. “I had a good time making that picture… Of course I had a wonderful hairdo in that picture. Some of you may not remember this [but] at the back of my head I had a big ugly bun.” (Where is she going with this?!?) Debbie continued, “So, I warned my daughter Carrie, who had just gotten a part in a big picture, Star Wars, ‘Well Carrie, be careful of any weird hairdos,'” making reference to those famous buns Carrie wore on both sides of her head as Princess Leia in Star Wars. “Luckily George [Lucas] gave her two buns.”

And the crowd went wild. (Don’t forget folks, my daughter was Princess Leia…)

Whether Debbie’s anecdote was intended as a way to playfully jab back at Carrie’s teasing sarcasm [during the presentation introducing her mom onstage] or was a genuine gesture to shine a spotlight on her talented daughter… or a little of both… Debbie Reynolds fabulously made her kid the star of the house that night. Something for all of us moms to remember as we chase our dreams, build our careers and focus on certain things we want as women:

THE KIDS SHOULD BE THE STARS OF THE HOUSE.

Because we’re moms. Because kids need to feel uplifted, celebrated and accomplished to build self-esteem, self-worth and self-love. It’s our job. Even if we’re getting a freakin’ lifetime achievement award.

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF DEBBIE & CARRIE’S DYNAMIC?