Every few months, I panic. There’s no logical reason for me to, but well, you know my history. I recently panicked thanks to my funny and famous friend (and fellow mommy maven) Kristin Cruz (the chick’s flippin’ hysterical and informative in the same breath… catch her new iHeartMoms podcast every Monday night if you can. HYSTERICAL. AND INFORMATIVE…). A few weeks ago she sent me a text that read (and I quote):
I literally laughed out loud when I read it, responded with a sassy “OMG NO YOU CRAZY WOMAN!” and went about the rest of my business.
Then I spontaneously threw up days later after having an incredible anniversary dinner out with my man. I noshed on sea bass, roasted brussel sprouts with more salt, butter and oil than I use in a week, decadent pecan pie with cream and washed the whole delicious mess down with a ginger-citrus-vodka cocktail. YUM. Until I found myself clinging to my toilet hours later, confused and panicked and in legitimate misery out of nowhere. Last time this happened to me so suddenly, LilMiss was born 8 months later. I started overanalyzing signs from the universe. Why had I just received that Top Pregnancy Myths infographic from PishPoshBaby in my email?!?! Was I going to have to shop for baby gear again?!?!? OMG.
Was this going to be me (again)?
The next day was hell. (I know it’s bad to say that, considering what a BLESSING children are, but when you feel like your family is complete and organized and then you’re presented with a possibility that it might not be… well… you panic… and remain nauseas the following day.) So I tromped over to Rite Aid to put this big question mark in my head to rest once and for all. I bought A TEST: NEGATIVE.
A weight was lifted. Life resumed. (Thank you Jesus. As much as I love my girls, I just can’t do it again… 3 times in 4 years is too much speedy activity even for me.)
If it’d gone the other way, though, at least I’d have been able to take advantage of some of the fabulous new pregnancy products on the market for expecting moms… I’d have started with:
MAMA MIO GORGEOUS GLOW FACIAL SWIPES. (Thanks to automatically becoming so lazy at the mere mention of pregnancy it’s ridiculous.) Brand spankin’ new and very cool for all of us who HATED leaning over a sink with a big pregnant belly just to wash our face. These give you a spa-deep cleanse on the go by removing makeup without stripping… SLS-FREE. Skin will feel super-clean and balanced – never tight. Biodegradable and fights blemishes with gentle exfoliants and Tea Tree extract. Ooh la la. Fancy. $16 (30 swipes per pack).
Finally, I’d have busted these babies out…
STICKY BELLIES. (To explain why the tummy would be getting bigger by the day. No, it wouldn’t be because I’d be eating boxes of macaroni-and-cheese for the sport of it. Well maybe.)
Close call on that one. (Not happening.) Phew.
Sticky Bellies lets you tell the world in bold colors that you’re expecting… or how old your new bundle is… or why your tot won’t stop screaming in the shoe department at Nordstrom (thanks, teething). Peel, stick, snap! Easy to use milestone stickers (NOT iron-ons) so you can have fun telling the world all about your pregnancy progress and new mom life. Perfect for baby’s milestone photos. Peel back off with no mess. Tons of adorable options and messages. $14 for a set of 13.
