FAILS. The big Christmas tree foul-up.

Merry everything! Tis the season for fa-la-la-la-la and fabulous fails that you must figure out how to fix. As you know, I’m a declared tree snob. Always have been, always will be (with any hope). But this year’s tree-experience put me to the test. Talk about a festive fail. I came this close to abandoning my commitment to real trees, running to Target and buying one of those fake ones.

I’ll start with the picking-out-the-tree experience: Let’s just say it was less-than-convenient. Don’t get me wrong, it was as fun and funny as it’s been in the past… my girls all bundled up in pink-hooded puffy coats (LadyP additionally sporting her Disney/Ariel mermaid tail, as we have been obsessed for months now), weaving their way through the tall green standing forest of trees at our local lot, screaming and pointing and touching the prickly needles while trying to run away from me… complete with giggles from the high school student staff (probably laughing at me – the jack-a$$ mom who brings two kids under the age of 3 to pick out a Christmas tree by herself). The memories will live forever.

So then we bought the tree and left our own stand at the lot for the staff to deliver later that night. I thought LadyP was going to explode she was so excited about our big tree delivery. Around 8pm, the doorbell rang (yes, right at bedtime… that threw some things off that night). In came the gorgeous tree through our front door. “So you have your own stand?” the 17 year old kid asked me. “Yes I left it with you, at the lot,” I replied. “Oh. We don’t have it. There must’ve been a mistake. We’ll come back tomorrow with it attached to the tree.” So back out our door went the gorgeous tree and onto the truck again. LadyP cried. I was disappointed too. The next night, this time around 7pm (a little better, right after baths), doorbell rang again. This time, 2 different high school kids (bless their hearts). In came our gorgeous tree through our front door. “So you have your own stand?” YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. Yup. Again. “We’re sorry Ma’am, there must’ve been a mistake…” (Yeah… the Ma’am part almost killed me). “But we have a stand in the car. We’ll attach it.” So out our tree went (again) through our door and they hammered the ‘spare stand on the truck’ (which was probably mine anyways) onto our tree. The poor kids were sweating. In came our tree. FINALLY! LadyP was jumping and thrilled. LilMiss tried to pull it down (we’ve since corrected her behavior).

We put on the Christmas carols, I watered it, I strung all the lights, we decorated the whole thing. My heart was full. Our little family was officially starting our holiday season (by now by husband was home). And then I saw it: WATER LEAKING. EV-ERY-WHERE. The nice high-school kids seemingly failed to completely nail the tree to the stand. So yes, my hardwood floors were soaked, my carpet was soaked… and the tree was fully decorated and lit up. Now we all might get electrocuted. Fabulous.

To say I was FRUSTRATED is an understatement. What to do? I tried to think like a clever fab-mom. I was NOT interested in taking all those lights and ornaments off. NO WAY. Moms can handle stuff like this, I thought. I thought and thought and thought. No sensible solution came to mind. Then I went to the dark side: Screw this ‘real-Christmas-tree’ thing. I’m done. My Christmas spirit – and all the tradition/memories that I’ve been so committed to cultivating – were O-V-E-R. Moms don’t have time for this stuff. This wouldn’t have happened with a fake plastic tree. And then, hubby came to the rescue: The guy who’s been bugging me to ditch the real-tree and get a plastic one “like everyone else” wracked his brain, found a sample pack of some silicone-type product that he uses for corrective ear surgeries and plugged up the water pan underneath the leak. Like magic, all leaks stopped. I dried my floor and didn’t have to remove one single ornament. That was a close one. Moral of the story: Sometimes moms need someone else’s brain to help, simply because clear thinking isn’t always possible (you have no idea how hard this is for me to admit). Do I still believe in having a real tree? Yup. Will I think about getting a fake tree for next year? Nope… I’m committed to keeping the season real (fail and all).

HAVE YOU HAD A HOLIDAY FAIL THIS SEASON?