Most frequently asked question to me every time I go somewhere these days: What are you having?
A baby. I tell them with a smiling, snotty look on my face. Then they look confused. “I’m waiting to find out until delivery.”
More confusion.
I shouldn’t be so defensive about their friendly inquiries. Afterall, most of the civilized world is sane enough to be aware whether the bump in their belly happens to be a little girl or a little boy. Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.
I take that back. I do give a damn. I want it to be a girl. I have a sister, was raised in a ‘girly house,’ don’t have the slightest idea how to change a diaper while a little weenie sprays pee in my face… and I certainly don’t know how to dress little boys or properly play with insects to entertain them effectively. If this baby bump of mine is in fact a boy, I just don’t need to know yet. Having that knowledge will not do me any favors from now until the baby is born. That said, I do know myself well enough to know that I will be happy about the birth of a new baby (no matter what the gender) ONCE THAT BABY GETS HERE.
I like to joke and say that I knew God was on my side when He gave me my baby girl a year and a half ago (or He just knew I just wouldn’t be able to handle the other option at that time). And NO – I did NOT find out that she was a girl until she was actually born. (Meaning that I actually got USEFUL gifts at my baby showers, rather than 15 pink tutus because people couldn’t resist buying them.)
Many of my friends and family will hate me for saying this (my own sister included), but finding out the gender of your baby has always seemed so predictable to me. Everyone does it. Boring. Way to ruin the one mystery left in life. Why is it such a big deal to just wait it out? Because we live in an immediately-gratifying world? Nobody has to wait for anything these days. Patience is one of those things that all parents must learn to deal with and accept… why not start with the pregnancy?
No hate to those who find out their unborn baby’s gender, but that’s how I feel. Maybe my attitude comes from never having been a ‘baby person’… or my delusional philosophy that I don’t consider the baby being ‘real’ until it physically enters this world and breathes on its own.
Yes, I guess I’m curious… but I can wait. It’s a BABY. It will have food, clothing, a nice place to sleep and people who love him/her when he/she gets here… no matter if it’s a boy or girl. Done. I’m usually not big on surprises in life, but NOT finding out the gender of my baby also seems to keep my priorities in check to prepare for things that I actually need (like finding a double stroller) rather than fixating on buying a bunch of blue baby blankets. It’s okay if I don’t have a decked out nursery in pink or blue, ballerinas or trains. Carrying a genderless bambino also fuels my thrill for keeping people guessing: As this is my second baby, this little tactic of mine actually keeps friends and family interested in my pregnancy (rather than the usual hum-drum, “Oh, it’s her second baby” apathy). I get a kick out of the wacky old wives’ tales, the Chinese Birth Chart (which was right-on with my first baby) and all the little old ladies’ philosophies claiming to reveal if is a boy or a girl. The most important part? The absurd spectacle keeps ME entertained… and it’s the only thing that gets me through the delivery process. (And doing it this way gave me what I wanted the first time… so why would I change it up now?) 🙂
ANYONE ELSE ON MY SIDE?
Finding out if it is a ‘boy or a girl’ is the least of your issues. Physical gender may not be clear or may be wrong. For eons we have done damage to our children by pigeon holing them. And damage to parents who need, hopefully sooner than later, to deal with gender dysphoria, intersex or non ‘straight’ identifying children.
Disagree! I had to be prepared to have a boy. I would have died on the table cause I thought I was having a girl. BOYS rock! But do agree as long as baby is healthy that is all that matters!! Best of luck and I will keep guessing!! Miss ya! xoxoxox
Guess what?? It’s a SURPRISE when you find out! Finding out the sex of your baby doesn’t mean you CHOOSE the sex, it merely means you find out only five months earlier than when the baby is born. It’s still a surprise and it’s still exciting!