It takes a certain dexterity. It’s uncomfortable. It’s complicated and gross… not to mention UNfabulous. But sometimes there’s no other choice. Like Kanye says: Th-th-th-that that won’t kill you, will only make you stronger. Who knew that peeing in a McDonalds bathroom would make me feel so invincible?
Driving back home from a weekend visit to Grandma+Grandpa’s house (a 3-hour roadtrip away), I naively thought I could get away with doing the 200+ mile journey without making a pitstop (LadyP is freakishly good in the car… so far). But one Diet Coke and my bladder started to rebel. The urgency of the situation took me back to my preggy days. With no decent rest stop in sight, I kept driving… and driving… until those familiar golden arches came into view. I parked in a panic, ripped LadyP outta her carseat and with one swift swing of the glass doors went flying into Micky D’s bathroom. Ooops. Forgot to get that stroller from the trunk. There I was standing in the stall (baby in my arms), this close to bursting like a broken damn, irrationally thinking “Just put her on the floor… it’ll be good for her immune system.” Then I thought of what Hubby would think if she somehow came down with some rare ecoli disease that was traced back to the ladies’ restroom floor of that particular McDonalds. Not an option.
By now my tummy looked like it was 5-months pregnant and I was out of time. One handed, I did what I had to do. Baby hanging in one arm (looking at me, with furrowed and confused brows), I seat-covered, unzipped and pulled-down my pants with my one free hand and collapsed on the toilet… baby on my lap. Tinkle tinkle tinkle…. tinkle. Relief. Disgusting, totally unavoidable and almost too embarrassing to admit… but also completely empowering.
I had a problem and I handled it BY MYSELF.
Having help is welcomed and absolutely necessary for raising babies… but if you have help for every single tiny situation every second of your life, how are you going to know what to do when that help isn’t available? I’m not suggesting to pee with your baby on your lap all the time…. but one time might do ya some good. If you’re like me, you just might learn something new. Who’s done it?
Needless to say, I skipped getting a second Diet Coke for the rest of the drive home.
And THIS is why you need an Ergo 🙂
I just took my 3 year old son to India, (departing LA). And I am a Nurse, so my middle name is Germophobia. But he did fine, he has learned from Mamma, “dont touch” anything in the public restrooms! And has gotten quite good at using hand sanitizer as a result of this trip! 🙂
oh girl…love this post.
i’ll take your McD’s and raise ya an airplane bathroom. ai ai ai!
peeing with babes…excrutiatingly complicated, a serious thigh workout, but you feel like a rockstar afterwards.
and *THAT* is why i haven’t taken my baby on a plane yet. you win hands down. luv to ya! (and also possibly the best website name *EVER* – i’m thinking you need a guitar riff right after it)