Giving back your first baby.

Surely, other moms have felt my pain? I cried and cried. The tears kept welling up and falling down my face. My husband now is certain that he married a head-case beyond rehabilitation. Nobody tells you that when you have a baby, you might have trouble coping with giving back your first baby. And I don’t cope well with change. Her lease was up, and she was now too small for our family. It was bye-bye to my BMW… aka “My First Baby.”

Take heart, I wasn’t upset because of the supposed “I live in LA and drive/drove a Beemer” thing. (Puh-leez, you think I’m that shallow?) It was what my Beemer metaphorically represented to me. Get ready for deep thoughts: Back when I got the beauty (in 2008) I honestly wasn’t looking for a “Beemer.” I had miraculously scored my first dream job as a movie reporter for ReelzChannel, was making 3 times the amount of money that I had the year before (when I worked in the fabulous Skechers offices) and was so excited/thankful/proud of my little self (that I’d achieved my dream of working on TV). On a whim, I found my 2005 black-on-black convertible in great condition, got a good deal and leased the little badass. I thought, “What the hell! Go for it and enjoy your young/free life!” The next 3 years, my Beemer and I went all over town and accomplished all sorts of career goals together… she safely took me to my celebrity interviews, to auditions, to set-visits, to the most famous movie studio lots and beyond (including my wedding). She and I were BFFs and I connected my happiest life moments with her.

Cut to the past year: pregnant, baby, baby stuff, more baby stuff, back-and-forth trips to see family in Fresno, CA… My Beemer was now too hip for me. She wasn’t used to carting around babies, strollers and toys. I even tried to coerce my Beemer into ‘wearing’ a carseat so we could stay together, but she wasn’t having any of it (and Hubby was not amused at my desperate attempts). So, it was time to go. And, a BIG, I-cart-kids-around-SUV was brought in to take her place. Not fabulous in my book, but this was a battle I could not win (no matter how much I whined).

Here’s the ironic part: when I was cleaning my Beemer, I found something that made me smile.

I found a “lucky lanyard” that was given to me YEARS ago (even before the Beemer) by a traveling Asian businessman that visited our Skechers offices. I distinctly remembered his kind smile and words of wisdom: He gave me the trinket and said something along the lines of “This will ensure that you will soon get everything you want.” Not about to discard anything with that kind of power, I thanked him and kept it (in my car at that time) and then transferred it to the BMW years later.  Damn that little red string! It was right. (At the time I got it, I wished for getting a job on TV, meeting the love of my life… and eventually having a family. Not kidding.) I guess getting certain things you want in life means that CHANGE is in store… which also means getting rid of something that took you on the journey to get you there. So, bye-bye Beemer. We love ya, miss ya, and will never forget ya, girl! Drive safely.