4 days overdue, 5 excuses to leave Baby alone.

Saturday night at home. Nothin’. 4 days overdue and a 41 inch waist. When is my little party ball going to join us?

IT DOESN’T MATTER. Many have gotten their panties worked up in a bundle because I’m past my due-date. “When are you inducing?” they accuse. I’m not! Here’s why:

I’m a firm believer in letting things happen naturally (with the exception of getting an epidural, of course, but that’s just utilizing modern science, not abusing it… didn’t anyone see Jurassic Park? Don’t mess with nature). I’m not interested in my doctor medically inducing me or scheduling a C-section. I’d rather carry this baby 2 more weeks – and let him/her make an entrance on it’s own schedule – than force something that’s not ready. The human body takes care of itself, and I’m sticking to my guns unless a medical reason arises to do otherwise (or until my husband straps me to a Pitocin drip against my will).

So, today I Googled “ways to induce labor” and made excuses to not do any of these:

1) SEX: The ‘male chemicals’ have prostaglandins which supposedly start the labor process. As fun as this sounds for a Saturday night, it ain’t gonna happen. I don’t even think I’d know how to do it these days as I can barely sit up and roll over without help.

2) DRINK CASTOR OIL: A natural laxative, it’s supposed to get your bowels moving (by cramping the intestines), which may or may not encourage contractions in the uterus and lead to labor. Yucko. I’m not in the mood to sit on the toilet with diarrhea… not that desperate yet.

3) TAKE A LONG WALK: Supposedly good for loosening up the woman’s hoo-ha… but it was about 90 degrees outside today and I didn’t feel like getting sweaty and having to wash my hair again.

4) BREAST ‘STIMULATION’: (NOT as erotic as it sounds.) Causes the release of oxytocin (the same hormone that causes contractions). Based on how you’re supposed to do it, it sounds too painful.

So, here’s what I DID do today (my #5 reason not to force Baby out):

I made my husband haul me to a local restaurant that boasts a legendary ‘labor-inducing’ salad that has been written about in newspapers… the spices in the dressing allegedly have a history of kick-starting contractions. Hundreds of pregnant women have traveled over the years from far and near to eat this, and then reportedly go into labor hours later. Fun! And, I was hungry.

I ordered the salad, signed the mommy-to-be guestbook and waited for my contractions-on-a-plate to arrive. When it did, I dug in, had a delicious bite, but then spotted a little surprise waiting: there was a teeny-tiny bug in it! (An innocent mishap – I do not hold the restaurant responsible.) Maybe it escaped washing off the lettuce, maybe it fell from the ceiling while the cook was tossing in the dressing, maybe my unborn child willed it in there because he/she’s not ready yet? What are the chances that my salad was uneatable?!?!? Only me. We sent it back, ordered a pizza and had a few laughs. The waitress did give me some of the dressing to take home and have later, which I did.

I took this as a sign from the universe: Don’t mess with Baby.

As of now, still nothin’. But I am starting to feel a little back pain… the first sign?  🙂