The story you’re about to read is true. The events depicted are not exaggerated, fabricated or made up in any way. Aliases have been created to protect those involved. Ready? Here goes:
It all began as such a nice day at Nordstrom… browsing, looking, perusing at our leisure. Just me, LadyP, LilMiss, GrandmaFab… and the stroller that’s bigger than the Antichrist. Everyone was fed, rested and in impeccably good moods. So, we thought it’d be a perfect time to get LadyP some much-needed new shoes to fit her growing little feet. Afterall, we’ve always loved our shoes.
But a wildly-colorful shoe department must be code for toddlers to completely lose their cookies and freak out beyond understanding. I’m still convinced all the colors overwhelmed her. “BLUE SHOE! PUH-PLE SHOE! RED! NO! NO! NOOOO! BLUE!” That’s a quote from LadyP. Except imagine it in a piercing screaming pitch while other moms in the department turned around to see what all the racket was about. I know you’ve been there. (If you haven’t, you will.) “BLUE SHOE!” I handed her the blue shoe. “NO!” Kicking and screaming. I take the blue shoe back. “PINK!” I gave it. “NOOOOO!” Swatting and shaking her head back and forth. (This time near tears.) I handed her some silver shoes (my way of trying to get something that will go with everything). You don’t even want to know what happened with that. “You’re acting crazy,” I firmly told her. Like she cared. She’s not even 2 yet. “Do you want to go home now?” (Yes, I know how stupid I sounded.) “PUH-PLE! PUH-PLE!!!” I searched the display. The only ‘purple’ shoes I saw were these crazy-lookin’ purple-and-silver-cheetah-print sparkles. Oh no not those. My daughter wants those? Is she going goth?!?!? (But I guess I’m not the most rational example when it comes to footwear.) Screaming screaming screaming. Screaming. Then wrestling with her, her feet, the shoes and the nice sales girl who was helping us try them on. I was steaming but kept my cool. LadyP is usually a really good girl (I’m not just saying that) but this day she was a crazy lady. I was this close to leaving without buying anything just to teach her a lesson (you remember how I’ve bragged about being a mean mommy) but we really needed shoes. Like, we-currently-don’t-have-any-decent-shoes-that-fit-us-properly REALLY needed them. Cut to me carrying her body in one arm (yes, kicking and screaming) while she held one ‘PUH-PLE!’ shoe in her hands and still had the other one on her foot. At least, I think this is true. It’s a bit of a blur. I swear, the UNfabulous things one does for fabulous shoes.
So we bought the ‘PUH-PLE!’ shoes (and a pair of basic white sandals that I picked out for her) just as LilMiss erupted in loud sudden yelping from the stroller. Where’d that come from? That’s not like LilMiss, I thought. And then it hit me: Big Sister may have gotten her shoes, but Little Sister got EMBARRASSED. (And so did Mommy, a little bit.) Either that or LilMiss was telling her sissy to just shut up and get the damn shoes so we could get outta there. GrandmaFab held back laughing (and so did Mommy, actually).
With two new pair of shoes, and me constraining a wild toddler in one arm while ignoring her, we swiftly exited the scene of ‘the scene’… and LilMiss’ crying stopped immediately. Then she smiled up at me from her stroller. Just as I suspected. Only a hint of what’s to come with two sisters, right?
HOW DO YOU HANDLE SCREAMING TODDLERS AND EMBARRASSED LITTLE SISTERS IN PUBLIC?