Who deals with crap on a daily basis? I do! I do! At least I did this week. But please don’t tell the fabulous network executives that I had meetings with what I did just before driving to their shiny offices to talk about my past, present (and hopefully future!) TV experience. Mama’s working on getting more work… and they don’t need to know what I do in my high heels right before getting into my car.
So I’ll tell you: I spray-tan my legs with my fave Sally Hansen Spray Bronzer, I tease my hair at the roots, I slip on my Spanx, dress and heels… and then empty a plastic bag of baby doo-doo into the outside trash while gagging. But not before kissing my girls and telling them to be good for our sitter.
The twisted part about all of this is that I actually feel empowered when I deal with the crap (literally and figuratively). Some people prefer others to do dirty work for them. Not me. I’m that much of a masochist. Don’t ask me why. It’s a power thing. It’s an ego thing. It’s an I-can-do-it-all thing. (Geez I must have serious underlying self-esteem issues?!??!) Knowing how to deal and finding the underlying power in effectively handling the ‘UNfab’ as well as the ‘fab’ is one of life’s little secrets. I’ve always been an advocate of pushing yourself to find the funny in the most undesirable of situations. (Remember that peeing-with-a-baby-on-your-lap thing?) Let’s face it: Those are the situations we learn from…. the situations that actually make us stronger in mind, body and spirit. Dealing with dirty diapers – and being all dressed up to do it – is powerful. Walking into a big meeting to sell myself as a viable television talent/personality requires that you think of yourself as somewhat of a superwoman. If emptying a bag full of stank beforehand inadvertently creates that mindset for me, well then gosh darnit who am I to argue with it? My little day-to-day successes keep my energy up. When I don’t feel like washing anymore bottles, doing anymore laundry or trashing anymore poop, I remind myself of the POWER that the act of handling those things holds. Repeat: Things would fall apart without me. ME. The MOM. Don’t be afraid to handle $hit yourself. Hold your breath, do it fast and then it’s done before you know it. When you do, it teaches you to handle everything else that much better and more easily… at least it does for me. Especially if I’m wearing my work heels.