THIS COVID-19 DIARY FOR MY KIDS… AND THEIR KIDS. Read our illustrious Week One HERE, complete with a can-do attitude laced with God-Is-Watching-Us wisdom.
Last week was ‘come together and conquer the world.’ This week was ‘everybody please shut-up and stop being stupid.’ (In addition to conquering the world…)
Am I ashamed of my rising rage towards fellow humans spouting misinformed nonsense stupidity on Facebook in this most disastrous time for humanity? Nope. This week fired me up, although I’ve simmered down a lot. It is Friday afterall. TGIF.
Don’t worry, I”m still deeply grateful and (mostly) upbeat for family life (and myself too).
Before I launch into the coming rant that is Week Two, let it be stated that our homeschooling is going beyond well — unexpectedly amazing, actually, besides how disappointed we all still are about not seeing our teachers, extended family and friends (dance/piano/art & Sunday School teachers included). I fully credit our productivity to two things — 1) my previously-earned work-at-home-stamina (from this blog/brand & writing my book) when both girls were toddlers 2) the fact that my girls are just one year apart in school, so they’re basically learning the same stuff. Our morning prayer ritual continue and, as of this week, we added doing the Pledge of Allegiance. Because, WE LOVE YOU AMERICA. My girls are full-on awesome and on-top-of-everything — it makes me smile and pat ourselves daily on the backs. We do our schoolwork (10am-2pm — math+reading+writing+typing+art+outside-play+JustDanceVideos) and tackle bed-making, vacuuming, putting away laundry, making sandwiches in between (they do themselves). Life skills rule. Dolls work & play with us and are frankly living their best lives right now. Daily shenanigans preciously tracked in my Instagram story highlights….
As expected, we’ve all gotten snippy with each other and I’ve been identified as having acted “really mean” this week (my crankiness rooted in inane things I’ll address later) but we continue to self-assess and course-correct to keep us productive. Everyone is sad+mad at what’s happening in the world but we are bound together and rising above — because “Eyes up, He’s watching.” I constantly repeat in our kitchen: “We’re on the same team here and we’re all doing a heck of a fabulous job! I am so proud of you two!” Good job, me! Good job, you!
Everything considered, we’re doing fine. I’ve always valued and enjoyed extended time with my girls — I often choose to hang out with them rather than friends my own age. We’re a family who had (most) every weeknight dinner at home more than we went out. My kids are still happy as clams these days — playing in their rooms, watching their shows and goofing off in our backyard. Nothing new here. Our weekends [again, before this stupid pandemic] were built on movie nights and popcorn on our couch. So we’re not in (that much) culture shock. I do miss my elliptical at my gym though.
My little one sometimes has sporadic outbursts saying “I wish this coronavirus thing never started!” I agree with her. I also mention how I hope the Chinese government shuts down [disgusting] wet markets and how the U.S. should stop producing goods in China and close our borders for a while after all of this is over.
Getting back to the three Rs I used to title this entry….
RATIONING is real. Toilet paper (remember! no more than 2 squares unless an absolute emergency!). Popsicles (once you finish that box, I can’t guarantee you’ll get another one before September 2020!). Butter & flour (all this Armenian mom wants to do is make choereg right now… but I don’t have enough butter and flour and the store was OUT when I went last week). Yesterday my husband (aka Daddy) made a surprise trip to the market and brought home a tiny container of dried cherries, one carton of raspberries, two bags of chips and a few other useless items that sent me into an instant scream when he unpacked them on the counter. Thank you for your effort, but: “Why didn’t you text me if you were making a supply run?” ?!?! His reply? “I didn’t think about it.” ?!?! You bet your butt I sent him back with a list credible supplies to return with. Still no butter and no flour on the shelves though. No vegetable oil either, so now we’re rationing that. I’m now questioning those brownies we made 2 days ago (using our vegetable oil) even though they’ve served as a calming mechanism for all the rage I’ve been outputting.
The upside this week? I’ve been very conscious of getting and maintaining REST. We all turn in early — around 8:30pmish. Technically, everyone else goes to bed around then… and then I clean the kitchen or fold laundry or wipe down tables and then hit the sack around 9:30pm. Hubs and I started watching Netflix’s ‘Tiger King’ and WTF WTH OMG I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW CAN THIS BE REAL. But we watch it and fall asleep. Last weekend I had a system-shutdown and crashed Saturday night (probably thanks to two things — my obnoxious energy to “Rise to this occasion of this challenge like our grandparents who went to war!” last week and also a trip to the grocery store earlier that morning that thoroughly freaked me out thanks to crowds swarming amidst crashing shopping carts while breathing on each other). My body went weak, I felt nauseous, my throat felt tight, my heart pounded, all the blood felt like it drained from my body. Yup, an anxiety attack snuck up on me (happens from time to time since my mom passed). I nipped it in the bud (planted my feet on the ground with deep breaths, laid down in my bed in the dark and forced myself to hold a pillow on top of my chest and sleep until the next day). The next morning, my mind raced with “do I have coronavirus?” so I drank lemon water and gargled with apple cider vinegar and downed vitamins like a psycho. I soon felt better and the girls and I went for another walk and waved and shout-talked to our neighbors from standing 6-10 feet away from them on our street.
Calls with my sister, dad, friends and family continue… actually proving to bring us closer and laugh about all things happening. Which leads me to my rant for the root of my aforementioned rage… BEING (UN)REASONABLE:
Group texts about ‘OMG THIS IS SO HARD WITH THE KIDS’ are admittedly driving me nuts. No hate to anyone, I’m just discovering my hard limits for communication that buzzes through a phone these days. Yes, we’re all in a pile of uncertainty, yes group commiseration can be therapeutic… but sending all the memes and commentary and likes and ha-ha-has and one-upping each other about who’s hair is the grayest and whose kids are the loudest and whose eyebrows are the most un-plucked are inexplicably infuriating me. Just pluck eyebrows and do what we need to do without complaining. I can’t handle so much stimulation — it’s giving me more nerves than are useful right now. PROOF THAT I’M A CERTIFIED INTROVERT? I’m thinking yes. I’m also oddly annoyed by the ‘OMG THE HOUSEWORK & COOKING IS JUST SO MUCH.’ Yes, managing a household can be a lot… BUT WHAT DO YOU THINK ALL OF US WITHOUT HELP HAVE BEEN DOING FOR LIKE, FOREVER? Get the kids off their butts to help clean and make it a family effort. Sending panicked messages about how meal-making is a thankless job makes me say “No $hit” and start to lose my sense and temper [some of these messages coming from those with brand new gourmet kitchens and more counter-space than all 3 of my bathrooms plus kitchen plus living room square footage combined — if I find gratitude for being healthy to cook and make it work in my small-a$$ kitchen, so can you]. #sorrynotsorry
And finally: FACEBOOK may now be my personal epicenter for this damn virus. Yes, I know better than to interact with those who have opposing perspectives and views — I’ve been practicing the ‘keep scrolling’ technique my entire working life in media & entertainment. Raise your hand if you’re a registered Republican surrounded by colleagues/friends/contacts who constantly wax on about how Republicans are the devil and shout “If you’re a Republican, unfriend me now!” non-stop. (Surprise, bitches.) No, I don’t agree with *everything* that happens and/or is done on my particular side of the aisle… but for Lord’s sake: STOP POSTING POLITICIZED MISINFORMATION TO CREATE FURY AND FEAR SO YOU CAN DEGRADE A PRESIDENT YOU DON’T AGREE WITH. I’m not defending his clunky articulation of all things, but rather begging you to just stop spraying poison and gasoline on an already-explosive situation that we’re all scared of and trying to navigate as a country, together. As someone who personally collected petition signatures in an effort to recall our CA Governor Gavin Newsom a mere few months ago, please note I’m not degrading Gov. Newsom on social media for kicks of getting views and comments on my feed. Be REASONABLE — in listening, in interpreting, in reacting and also repeating information and opinions that don’t serve to cure this pandemic. Just because you want something to be so doesn’t make it so. (Ie: Please inform me HOW COVID-19 is ‘padding our President’s pocketbook’?? And yes, it would be wonderful to see parts of the country’s businesses and churches opened by Easter IF WE CONTINUE WHAT WE’RE DOING AND IT’S APPROVED BY OUR MEDICAL LEADERS — yes, he included that caveat in the press conference. Did you watch the actual words or you just took the HuffPost headline as gospel? Stop grasping at your banned straws.)
I admittedly fell into the same Facebook trap I’ve vehemently warned others against doing for years — I commented “please stop sharing dramatic headlines like this, these are not facts” on a former-colleagues post that declared “Trump Ignores Health Guidelines,” shared an article questioning why our Los Angeles Sheriff is planning to release non-violent criminals early from jails while shutting down gun stores during this crisis (which makes me livid) and expressed how LA Mayor Eric Garcetti’s impending shutdown of all water and power services to small businesses is “not okay” in the name of honoring our freedoms and necessities. In a particularly-low moment, I even dropped a *barf* emoji to describe the leadership of Nancy Pelosi into one of our local news channels’ Facebook LIVEs. Diversity of opinion is accepted on all sides, right??
And then I quickly reminded myself that this kind of vengeful behavior does not align with my ongoing philosophy of “Eyes up, He’s watching.” I’m not proud of these personal fits, but lockdown will do things to a woman.
But NOW IS NOT THE TIME for rampant disrespect, degradation and disregard for how our leaders — and ourselves — are fighting like hell to defeat this damn thing. Our kids are watching. So act like it. All of us. Me included.
Whew! That feels better. Ready for Week Three. (Rage over.)
In faith and fabulous solidarity,