Mother’s Day. I’ve worked it. I’ve reveled in it. I’ve faked it. I once read a fabulous piece by Girls Gone Child that spoke to me… that made me think Ahhhhh I’m not the only one. And here it is coming up again: Mother’s Day (insert threatening music here). Trust me: I’m a fan of anything that wants to honor me, but why does this whole holiday feel so forced? I don’t need flippin’ mother’s day gifts. What I really want for this Mother’s Day is far too shameful to admit. I want: A DAY NOT TALKING TO ANYONE OR DOING ANYTHING. BY MYSELF. BY A POOL. WITH SOME SORT OF FIZZY BOOZY BEVERAGE IN HAND. NOT TALKING TO ONE SINGLE PERSON. MAYBE DOZING OFF A BIT.
This coming from a woman who genuinely has FUN taking her fab kids everywhere… EVERYWHERE.
But now, for this Mother’s Day, I want to be left alone.
Is this a FAIL? No. Well sort of. It’s not a fail to need time to yourself. But, it is a fail to get to a point where you are so desperate for it. Like, borderline “is-this-what-the-big-burnout-feels-like” desperate. You remember my mid-week strawberry fight last week? Yeah. It shouldn’t be that way. This is my FAIL. So I’ve made a personal commitment to myself, starting this week before Mother’s Day 2014:
Get ahead and stay ahead of this thing from here on out.
In showbusiness/PR, there’s something called “getting ahead of the story” — for instance, when something bad happens to a celebrity (or, they do something bad), the PR team wants to always ‘get ahead of the story’ so their spinned version, explanation, announcement and/or apology makes it’s head to the public FIRST (before the scandal-part does).
I’VE LET THIS BURNOUT GET AHEAD OF ME.
We all get tired. We all get frustrated. We all wonder why our work outside the home is lagging. We all wonder why our work inside the home is multiplying. Ever heard of burnout? I’ll tell you what it is: It’s when you’d rather trade a day of ‘national honoring for mothers’ for a day where you can be by yourself, pull sunglasses over your face, not talk to anyone and not think about anything at all. Except for if you need to reapply sunscreen yet. In my twenties, I had energy, willpower, perseverance and all those obnoxiously-motivating things in abundance and practically never felt the need to recharge and refresh. I even had those things just a few years ago when I had my first baby… and right when I had my second also. It was freakish. Years ago (when only my first daughter was around, and I was pregnant with #2) another mom asked me if I ever needed time by myself. No… not really I shook my head. I really didn’t feel it. I probably looked at her like she was an idiot. She probably looked at me like I was a super-b!tch.
I’d answer that question much differently now.
I’m learning that with age (and two children under the age of 3.5) comes a slow-down. A lacking of spark-and-showdown. A shorter tolerance for stupid and uncontrollable happenings in my universe. And here I thought this wouldn’t happen to me. I must change my ways… I must evolve… I must be proactive according to what my current life requires. I must get ahead of this thing.
So today, I trotted myself over to the posh-yet-surprisingly-relatable Rox Spa Beverly Hills to put a gift certificate to use and get my second facial of my whole life. (Yes, SECOND facial. Of my whole life.) It was FAB-U-LOUS. I won’t go so far to say that a single one-hour facial turned my entire attitude around, but it helped. The time I spent there allowed me to think clearly and assess what’s been my problem lately. Now I know. And I know what I need to do:
GET AHEAD OF THE BURNOUT. SCHEDULE ALONE TIME AS THOUGH YOU’D SCHEDULE YOUR KIDS’ ACTIVITIES. IT IS NOW *REQUIRED.*
All the years I’ve heard women talk about this topic, I always rolled my eyes and never thought I’d actually agree. Well now I believe. I believe, I believe! I most likely won’t get my desired gift this year (the gift of no talking / by myself / chaise lounge / etc), but I think I may’ve unleashed a personal revolution of sorts. Maybe that’s the true gift. Happy Mother’s Day to me. Happy Mother’s Day to YOU. From here on out… let’s get ahead of this thing together.
HOW DO YOU TAKE CARE OF YOU?