My birthday was a week ago, but this year it didn’t happen. The birthday number itself was fairly significant (pushing me over a threshold that’s closer to another future number that’s even bigger) but it was uneventful, uncomfortable and a little soggy and sad. On a day (week, actually) that I thought I’d be celebrating life with my family, my husband and my friends…. I WAS SICK. Like, laid-up-and-couldn’t-lift-my-head-crying-in-my-bed-I’m-not-even-joking sick. For six days. And to think last year’s birthday was so fab.
In the midst of feeling pathetic, I was pi$$ed. Anyone would be. My body ached from my pinky toes to the tip top of my head and wondered what the heck I’d done to deserve to get dogged outta my own special day. Maybe it was that post about stupid people and stupid things that made the universe angry. Maybe it was the fact that I didn’t bother to get a flu shot. Maybe the all-powerful force was showing me what was really stupid in the larger scheme of things.
My own birthday aside, the thing that bothered me the most were my girls. I missed my girls.
The only times I saw my own family were between my delirious naps throughout the day (thanks to Hubby and my babysitter). A piece of me pained every time my LadyP marched to the side of my bed and stated “Mommy it’s not good when you’re sick” while handing me a plastic bowl of pretend cake and soup that she made herself in her pink-and-blue kitchen to help me get better. I know sweetheart… it’s not good at all.
Now I’m back to healthy regular life, loading and unloading the dishwasher and wiping small tushys… and I’m taking my bomb-out as a wakeup call. I truly believe the powers-that-be knock you down when you need an adjustment. I needed to lock-down and check-out for a while. Lord knows I wasn’t going to slap myself across the face, so the Universe did it for me. I’m trying to look at this past birthday as not a bomb-out, but rather a gift. Laying in bed (again, for 6 days), I really reassessed what is IMPORTANT in life: Health, Love, Capability to do for oneself, Children, Spouses’ feelings, Relationships, Being able to go to the kitchen and get food without assistance. Sitting at my kitchen table in my stinky pajamas as my husband and girls presented me with an ice-cream cake and 3 candles (on the night we were supposed to be a hip Hollywood restaurant tossing back martinis) made me smile. Where I was was important (even if I stunk and looked like $hit). It’s important to be nice. It’s important to be grateful. It’s important to look at the good. It’s important to prioritize what matters and not respond to what doesn’t. It’s important to STOP and consciously resist and remove your own buzzing and overworked thoughts that build up and sometimes overtake our energy without us even realizing it. All these things take effort and time and practice. I needed those six days to reset… the Universe seemed to know it, and I’m now grateful.
With age comes wisdom, and this birthday brought me a bit more of exactly what I needed at this phase in my life. This fail made me focus.
The most fabulous part? I didn’t even ‘age’ another year since my actual birthday technically never happened.
HAVE YOU HAD A BIRTHDAY REALIZATION?