Being a fab mom means lying about laundry.

Leave it to Grandmas. They just know fabulous things. Or maybe sometimes us moms are just too zonky to see the obvious. Or maybe I just don’t have common sense? Most likely. My own mother (aka: GrandmaFab) recently taught me that moms must learn to be sneaky. Stealth. Clevvvverrrrrr. I’ve already shared my favorite lie to my toddler. Scary Mommy seems to be a professional at it: via Twitter, she’s fessed up to lying to her kids about how yummy yucky ice cream is. Now that’s professional. And I’m learning to lie more and more too. Now I lie about what’s going in the laundry (thanks mom).

Na-Na likes to look out the window too.

Hop-Hop. He looks sweet, but he stinks.

My continued efforts to wash our Na-Na (translation: blanky) and Hop-Hop (favorite bunny-of-the-moment) have yielded protest, crying and overall temporary trauma for my soon-to-be-2 year old LadyP. If she sees me carry them from her room and toss them into the wash, she’ll stand at the machine and whine about them being in there (even if she wasn’t playing/cuddling with them before I threw them in). Sorry hun, but they’re dirty. They’re gross. They get dragged all across our house and – despite my Swiffer Wet Jet obsession – they turn brown and disgusting from the dust on the floor.. and it sometimes makes me gag to see you snuggling with them when they’re like that.

It’s not that I mind her having a cuddly at this point in her young life, it’s just that her antics get in the way of us having fun and getting things done around the house if she’s worried about the Na-Na and Hop-Hop for the hour it takes to get them clean. I’m pretty good at ignoring nonsense, but that somehow gets to me. Maybe I need more patience? That’s another blog.

Related:  FEAR (After Babies).

So GrandmaFab taught me a sneaky way to pull the wool over her eyes (for now, anyways) and cart the filthy little Na-Na and stinky little Hop-Hop through the house and into the wash without LadyP knowing:

What's in there?

Brilliant, huh? Those fab Grandmas… always putting us mommies to shame. And of course I lie when LadyP asks where her Na-Na and Hop-Hop are: “They’re sleeping right now.” She actually believes me. Fabulous.



  1. I tried to lie to my toddler about time. I would say 5 more minutes, and 30 seconds later tell him it’s time to go. Now he calls me on it – he wants me to start the timer on my iPhone to count down from 5 if I say 5 more minutes. Outsmarted by a two year old 🙂

    • Jill Simonian says:

      Clever little devil! But that’s crazy-funny! Thanks for letting me know what I have to look forward to… hahahahahaa. (Although I know I probably won’t be laughing when my turn comes….) 🙂


  1. […] the portable laptops that bark like dogs and things that go beep and ding-ding-ding and toss in our Na-Na and Hop-Hop for good measure. But I wait to give them (one by one) until the toddler actually has an actual […]

  2. […] I’m shocked and appalled to report that I’VE started to care about Hop-Hop… a lot. You see, as the current best buddy of a nearly-two year old toddler, Hop-Hop has endured some challenging times. He’s been crumpled up, squished and sat on at the tiny hands of my little giggling girl. He’s been tossed in the garden and remained there overnight. He’s accidentally been run over by our stroller (that was my fault). When I see him laying on the ground, tired, dirty, semi-abused…. my heart goes out to him. “Take care of Hop-Hop!” I scoop him up and tell my little girl. “He’s your friend. He loves you.” She looks at him, smiles, hugs him and says “Hop-Hop! So Sweet!” My heart melts. I sometimes think about the day when Hop-Hop won’t be the ‘It-Toy’ at our house and get a little sad. I’ve even gotten sneaky and gone out of my way to take care of him. […]